(no subject)

i have not smoked one ciggartte (sober) since nov 15
i still smoke when i drink but im ok with that
i am just so pleased with my self control = ]]]

(no subject)

today is the first day of my month of sobriety(sp)
so far i have desided to exclude the consumption of alcohol as something forbidden
but damn pots hard enough
im dying
but i can do it

ok so this is what im giving up

pot
caffine
eating after nine
pain killers
any other type of pill (besides prozac)
almost alcohol but not
ciggarettes(sp)


and i think that is it

i will continue to update on my progress
not sure if progress is the rite word
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

(no subject)

i am doing my best
i am very pleased wtih the direction i am heading
i am being a very good girl
i am slowly learnign life can be very rewarding and pleasent if you let it


i love moms new house
  • Current Mood
    content content

(no subject)

i jsut finished the last test of my high school career
my entire grammer school career
all i have next is to graduate
which should be rather easy

im finished

wow

i love my job

i am pleased

i am proud

(no subject)

im feeling extremly discontent rite now
i keep walking around
sitting in differednt places
im not sure why
its not that im anxious
im jsut discontent
im thinking that it has something to do with the paintting i jstu finished
ive been working on it for so long
and im very displeased wtih its results
very displeased
or maybe i am so sick of this fucking rutine im n'
jesus
im gettiing on my nevres
and so are the dogs

(no subject)

ive been really sad laitly
lonely i guess
jsut work school and i see leah in the morngings b4 school and inbetween classes but thats all
i talk to steven every once in a while
and see him like once a week if that
im not sure why
i guess hes getting sick of me
which i guess is to be expected
bc hes so good
and "bc of my pessimisim"
i cant have good
bc "its a matter of visualization"
well i vizualize the worse

he doesnt make me sad
im not saying that
im saying
that i make myslef sad
i rot my mind with negitivity
and then become resentful fopr it

i cant beleive im sharing this with the world wide web
but i have no one to talk to
really
ive said that b4
but rite now i realy fucking mean it