(no subject)

i have not smoked one ciggartte (sober) since nov 15
i still smoke when i drink but im ok with that
i am just so pleased with my self control = ]]]

(no subject)

today is the first day of my month of sobriety(sp)
so far i have desided to exclude the consumption of alcohol as something forbidden
but damn pots hard enough
im dying
but i can do it

ok so this is what im giving up

eating after nine
pain killers
any other type of pill (besides prozac)
almost alcohol but not

and i think that is it

i will continue to update on my progress
not sure if progress is the rite word
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

(no subject)

i am doing my best
i am very pleased wtih the direction i am heading
i am being a very good girl
i am slowly learnign life can be very rewarding and pleasent if you let it

i love moms new house
  • Current Mood
    content content

(no subject)

i jsut finished the last test of my high school career
my entire grammer school career
all i have next is to graduate
which should be rather easy

im finished


i love my job

i am pleased

i am proud

(no subject)

im feeling extremly discontent rite now
i keep walking around
sitting in differednt places
im not sure why
its not that im anxious
im jsut discontent
im thinking that it has something to do with the paintting i jstu finished
ive been working on it for so long
and im very displeased wtih its results
very displeased
or maybe i am so sick of this fucking rutine im n'
im gettiing on my nevres
and so are the dogs

(no subject)

ive been really sad laitly
lonely i guess
jsut work school and i see leah in the morngings b4 school and inbetween classes but thats all
i talk to steven every once in a while
and see him like once a week if that
im not sure why
i guess hes getting sick of me
which i guess is to be expected
bc hes so good
and "bc of my pessimisim"
i cant have good
bc "its a matter of visualization"
well i vizualize the worse

he doesnt make me sad
im not saying that
im saying
that i make myslef sad
i rot my mind with negitivity
and then become resentful fopr it

i cant beleive im sharing this with the world wide web
but i have no one to talk to
ive said that b4
but rite now i realy fucking mean it